It’s Not Always About Feeling “Good”

When I first got the title “Feelgood Manager”, I was pretty excited and thought to myself...that sounds like a lot of fun! Even today, almost everyone who hears this title starts smiling. Sometimes I start smiling too, but then I have the urgent need to explain why it is not just about feeling good...

Over the years I’ve figured out that it’s impossible to make everyone feel good everyday. And, guess what – we don't have to! 

Instead, it’s about focusing on the experience, or space, that we create for others and ourselves. What do we do in difficult moments or situations? What can we offer others when they struggle? What do I do for myself?

Let's focus more on difficult situations for a moment. 

Receiving tough feedback, for example. When exactly did we learn to deal with this? Or another example: working from home, or being in quarantine or having a curfew...how are we supposed to feel if we don't have the social contacts we used to have? What about losing a family member or friend...how do we cope with grief? Even our first breakup - did someone even prepare us for this experience? 

Probably not. 

But we need to figure it out in order to survive! Not just to simply to feel good. And it can be terrifying, scary even – but also beautiful... 

Because it helps us to learn more about ourselves. The big question starts coming up: Who Am I? And we owe this deep question some answers! 

Because we have to start with ourselves in order to support others.

Uncertainty, for example, and the way we are experiencing the present moment is a state we don't like and we don't want to feel it. And like most of our bad or difficult emotions they are being pushed away. We numb ourselves not to feel. 

We don´t create time and space to feel anymore. Instead we have Netflix, Instagram, Tinder, banana bread, booze and books (Just to name a few.. And yes, I use these things to escape sometimes too!).

Tanya Markul is a poetess and intuitive storyteller. This quote of her fascinated me already some years ago:

“You can't hide from your inner shit. Nope. You can't sleep it off. You can't surgically remove it. You can't eat/buy/wish/exercise it away. You have to turn towards it & embrace it. Look into its eyes. Be patient & so f*cking tender. Then get intimate with it until it shows you another way, a different you.”

And yes, sometimes it’s okay to be alone, to have some “Me Time” and have a date with yourself. Meditation and Mindfulness are beautiful tools to do so. 

We can also ask for help in many different ways. But sometimes it’s not your best friend, or your family who are the best people to ask for support. It may also not be your work mate or your manager... 

Instead try talking to someone you don't know. Find your Mentor, Guru or Coach outside of your bubble! They can support you just by asking the right questions and change your perspective in a way no one has asked you before.  Be open and curious for what wants to reveal. And be surprised how beautiful and unique you are!

Be a Feelgood Manager for yourself...and keep in mind to feel everything. We all have some inner shit going on. Now is the time to look at it! Welcome it. Learn from it. Get creative. Grow with it. Move on. And step-by-step you will find your true self, a different you.